"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Matt. 5:4

Seven and a half months after Dennis' death I am enrolled in a Grief Recovery class and have attended my first session.  Mixed emotions about even the thought of attending this type of "group" meeting saw me waver back and forth while deciding to attend.  My wonderful church has sent a series of three books on grief which were very good and, in addition, I have read several on my own and currently am finishing up the book by C. S. Lewis, "A Grief Observed."  Wow, his encounter with grief was intense and he, like me, found it more overwhelming than ever thought possible.

What do I think of this class is the question that has been asked a number of times today.  Well, its hard to arrive at a conclusion this soon into it, but think it will be another rich side road on my journey that I can glean from and take away morsels of wisdom to help make the path easier to navigate.  It was challenging last night.  There were many emotional moments for me during the video and while others shared so felt a little deflated when it was over and I arrived home.  What strikes me the most at this point is the fact that there are others traveling as well.  No person experiences grief the same way but one thing is abundantly clear, it is PAINFUL!  So, my plan is to continue this thirteen weeks and attend as often as possible.

Dear friends, there surely isn't anyone who is comfortable with and wants to contine in grief.  The agitated, churning, surging emotions I have gained experience with are not something to wish on anyone and irrefutably are something you pray to avoid in the future.  Unfortunately, we don't evade death, it comes for those we love and it will affect all of us at one time or another.  When one loves deeply, the loss is profound.  Would I give up the great love experienced with Dennis to bypass the pain?  NOT ONE SINGLE SECOND OF IT.  As Christians, we are so blessed, because of the ressurection of Jesus, to have ETERNAL LIFE.  What ultimate sacrifice He gave so that we have the hope of heaven and eternity in the presence of Jesus with those we love.  Because of this great hope, I want to heal and move forward to fulfill the plan that God has in store for me.  It is heart-rending to envision that future without Dennis in it BUT heartwarming to know that the God of the universe has a plan for me.

Please continue to pray for me and my fellow journeyers as we move onward during this next 12 weeks together.  Pray that we will grow and heal and that the lonliness, pain, fears, sorrow and uncertainties will begin to diminish as we move forward.  Pray that our facilitators will have the wisdom of God as they lead, minister and encourage us. 

You, precious ones, are my GIFT AND I LOVE YOU DEARLY!

"I have called you by name, you are Mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you...You are precious in my sight, and honored, and I love you."  Isaiah 43:1-2, 4        

June 2010